On Saturday, I completed my third Dirty Girl Mud Run. Looking back at my blog posts regarding the Dirty Girl, I realize that I have completed ZERO proper Dirty Girl Mud Run recaps. What the hell is up with that? My sincerest apologize to anyone who has ever come to this site looking for an insider look at the DGMR. So here goes my first recap of a Dirty Girl:
This year’s team consisted of me and Allison (we get dirty together a lot*,) my mom (who did her first last year), and 3 newbies: Rona (Allison’s mom,) Joan (Allison’s aunt,) and Deb (one of my Ladies Auxiliary sisters.)
Parking was a little weird this year. 2012 and 2013 had us park in a field across the street from Montage Mountain. This year, some cars were directed to park onsite. Some had to park at a minor league ball park a little ways down the road and get school bus shuttled to the race. It was weird but it was being executed well so I can’t really complain about that.
Last year, the check-in process sucked and this year was really no better- a little faster, but still ridiculous.
- Tent #1: They check your waiver.
- Tent #2: They check your ticket, which is scanned and matched with a bib that they hand you. They do not hand you safety pins for the bib.
- Tent #3: Get your shirt. You must hold up your bib, which has your size on it, and the volunteers grab your shirt. I advise you to try to go with a bunch of other people that are the same size as you, because if you are the oddball size of the bunch, you will never get your shirt because they dude will grab the majority’s size and forget about you. Also, I don’t know if I am just oblivious, or if the volunteers just failed to mention that you should also be grabbing your medal/necklace from a bucket on the table while you are there. I didn’t and had to go back after the race and dig my mud-soaked hand into the bucket for my bling. Still no safety pins.
- Tent #4: Age verification. Show this guy your ID and get a 21 and over bracelet. Fail to do this and you will not get your beer at the end. Still no safety pins.
- Big empty space with nowhere to get safety pins.
- Ask people who are already wearing their bibs where the hell you are supposed to get safety pins.
- Go all the way to the bag check table, which you are trying to avoid because the line to get your shit back last year was so fucking long that you vowed to never use bag check again, on the other side of the grounds and swipe a giant handful of safety pins for the whole team waiting near the ample, well-stocked portapotties and handwashing stations.
Even with the check-in insanity, we still started at our wave time of 10AM.
The course was a very fun. It’s easy enough that really anyone can do it, but not so easy as to make it boring. I won’t go too in detail on the obstacles because their website has a pretty good page with pics and descriptions of them. They have been pretty consistent year-to-year, and since everything is inflatable and pre-fab, I’m sure that they are pretty standard from location to location. What I know about this particular location is that in addition to the obstacles, they use the surrounding terrain to make the course interesting. We went through wooded areas and creeks and lots of gigantic mud puddles of doominess. Watch your footing on these since there’s really no way to know how deep the water/mud is or whether the bottom is soft and squishy or covered in rock and tree roots.
At the end, there are food and beer vendors, merch tents, first aid, masseuses, Fruit2O sparkling water beverages (yay, sponsors!), and a rinse station. We skipped the rinse station this year because last year, after waiting for AN HOUR to get our stuff out of bag check, we then waited another 30 minutes on line to get into the rinse/changing tent. It was like a sketchy women’s locker room with astroturf floors and hoses coming out of floors. It was a free-for-all to get to a hose so we ended up leaving still coated in mud and cleaned up with towels at the car. That’s why I bring the towels and our own tent anyway, right?
I probably have the most fun at the Dirty Girls. The camaraderie is amazing with everyone helping everyone else. You don’t get any people pushing to get ahead of you or making snide comments at the slow people. No inappropriate hands on the ass while trying to ‘help’ you over a wall. It is all strict fun and laughter the whole time.
The 3 newbies all want to do it again next year! And the seasoned pros are ready to try out a new venue in 2015.
*I wonder how many men looking for porn are ending up at my blog because of all the girls getting dirty involved in this recap. Sorry, guys.