FoodDay Friday – Fails

This week, Jay went and cooked up all the dinners for the week on Monday. It was pretty much all done before I got home from work. Two of them were, in fact, from Pinterest recipes, but I missed the most of the making, so I have no clue what went down regarding these experiments.

What I do know is that I got an email from Pinterest last night saying that my account was locked! The horror! They say they noticed strange activity on my account and that pins were pinned and  boards were created that didn’t seem typical of me. A change-of-password later I was scouring through my boards checking to see if any evidence of the weirdness remained. Nothing was out of the ordinary, but I did get some giggles looking at things that I pinned that I thought would be brilliant but ended up being not-so-much-with-the-good.

First up, are these adorable little cupcake toppers. I was asked to try these for a baby shower.

Pinned onto my Sweet Inspiration board

I’m pretty damned crafty and have fairly decent knife skills, but these were just not in the cards for me. I’m fairly certain that they aren’t in the cards for anyone who isn’t a professional food stylist. Cutting up pieces of jelly fruit candies may seem easy-peasy when read on the computer screen, but actually taking blade to goo is another story. And the little chocolate chip eyes? That part looked like something out of a SyFy movie- one of those foreign ones where the English is dubbed in and there are little children giggling in corners while cuddling blood-soaked plush bunnies.

This one seems like a little slice of brilliant deliciousness:

Egg baked in an Avocado. Pinned from Noms-of-the-not-so-healthy-variety board. Don’t know why I did that. It seems healthy enough.

The recipe just says to pop out the pit and crack the egg into the void. I don’t know if I had unnaturally small avocados or if the eggs the recipe writer was referring to were quail eggs. The egg did not even remotely fit and I ended up with egg yolk baked in an avocado and a baking sheet covered in egg white goo. For me, it wasn’t all that bad though, since I despise the whites anyway.

 

The cake portion of this pin was awesome:

Pinned onto my Sweet Inspiration board.

I usually don’t abide by recipes that ask for boxed cake mix, but sometimes, in a pinch, they are a godsend. They are not a godsend when the frosting technique fails and you end up having to quickly make up some frosting from scratch and hope to all things holy and unholy that you still have some powdered sugar in the house. The recipe says to pop some marshmallows onto the top of the partially baked cupcakes and let them melt/toast onto the cakes. What actually happened was that I put the marshmallows on and they rolled off into the bottom of the oven. On the upside, my house smelled like s’mores for days to come.

And then there’s this one:

Cauliflower pizza crust.  Pinned to Healthy Noms for when we were trying to be Paleo.

This turned our really well… if I was trying to make a super-tasty cauliflower mash for a shepherd’s pie-type dish. It’s not the fault of the recipe. It’s the fault of the girl who always follows recipes asking someone who doesn’t use recipes to make the recipe. You see, the recipe instructs you to cook a whole cauliflower but then only use half of it for making the pizza crust. The whole thing went into the ‘dough’ instead. Obviously, this does not bode well for the final product.

Well, there you are. Our kitchen isn’t always sunshine, rainbows, and the scent of toasted cumin. Sometimes it’s defeat, spilled eggs, and the scent of burning marshmallows.

Stay tuned for next week when I attempt to make cookies with the “help” of a 3-year-old!

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