All the same crap of 2011, but replace the “once in a lifetime” snow storm, with the “once in a lifetime” Superstorm Sandy.
Halloween 2013 – I thought this year would just have to be awesome. No freak storms. A son who is old enough to understand the holiday and even say “Trick or Treat.” Things should be good.
We (but mostly Jay) decorated the house extra this year because we had to go so minimal for the last few years. The tombstones that I made year ago went up. A zombie was tearing out of one of the graves. A skeletal cat skulked about. Spiderwebs galore. Demonic ghosts at every turn. And our living decoration (my brother in a gas mask and bloodied shirt) was all ready to make crazy pterodactyl noises and scare the ever-loving bejeezus out of little princesses and Power Rangers.
I bought tons of candy. I think I had 5 shopping bags full, a giant bag of Halloween pretzels for the kids who can’t have candy, plus a big old bag of candy that my mom brought over because she NEVER gets Trick-or-Treaters at her house. And then the rain came. What. The. Fuck? Mr. Weatherman said that the rain wasn’t going to come until late evening, after the Halloween traditions. But nope. By 4pm the puddles were forming.
I had to quickly rethink my costume because A, the costume I bought was piece of crap and couldn’t be worn, and B my back-up costume would be ruined in the rain. Thank god for my unhealthy obsession with Halloween and all things dark and creepy, because I was able to quickly throw together a witch costume that didn’t look retarded and store-bought.
We all got ready and began the festivities, but apparently we were the only ones because we ran into the same problems as the storm years. Maybe 3 houses per block had lights on. X didn’t even fill up half a pumpkin. He got bored and wanted to go home.
At home, we got very few Trick-or-Treaters by my neighborhood’s pre-storm standards. Usually the kids start by 5:45 (even though the Village dictates that 6-8 are the proper hours) and then continue at fairly steady rate until 7 when it peters out for 20 minutes or so before having another rush from 7:15-8, with a couple of kids trickling in between 8 and 8:15. It is a science in our development. This year, we had a slow stream from 6-6:30 and then trickles until 7 and after that we basically gave up and went inside to watch TV. It wasn’t right at all. I was giving out candy by handfuls to those last kids in attempt to unload the diabetic coma-waiting-to-happen sitting next to my door.
My brother was depressed. He barely scared anyone. Neither did my husband, the plague doctor. I’m going to get fat because of the giant re-usable shopping bag filled with leftover candy that is sitting in my house. All-in-all, Halloween was a dud. Again.
Did anyone else have a crap-tastic All Hallows Eve?