This is a reenactment of a conversation between me, bits of myself, an inanimate object, and a few deities that took place today.
Me: I skipped my run yesterday yesterday
My Knee: Ha Ha, I did that. You shouldn’t run today either. Sit on your butt an eat some of that frozen yogurt from the truck outside.
Me: No way, Jose. I’m running today whether you like it or not.
My Knee: We’ll see about that.
Me: Shut up. I’m going to finish what I’m doing and then head out while the weather is still good.
Zeus: No you’re not. Here’s some pouring rain for you!
Athena: Zeus, shut your face-hole. This girl is a Spartan Chick! A little rain doesn’t stop her!
Me: Damn straight!
Zeus: Well, fine. Then I guess I’ll turn off the waterworks. <pouts as he stops the rain>
Me: <head down to the locker room to change and then outside>
Zeus: Ha-Ha! Fooled You! You will have rain anyway!
Athena: Didn’t we go over this?
Me: Um, Madam Goddess, I don’t think I want to run in the rain today. I’ve gotta go back to work and I really don’t want to sit at my desk all soggy and funky.
Athena: Fine. Be a little, prissy bitch.
Zeus: I win!!!
Me: Oh, no you don’t. I’ll run on the treadmill in the gym! Sorry, Knee.
My Knee: I stand by my previous statement.
Treadmill: We meet again.
Me: Listen, you vile piece of gym equipment. I’m going to run nicely on you and you are going to be nice and not screw with Knee or give me shin splints. Deal?
Me: Tough shit. I’ll stomp you good, then. <run at my typical pace. I usually vary between 10 and 11 minutes /mile these days>
Treadmill: Your pace was 12 minutes per mile.
Me: You are so full of it. I hate you.
Treadmill: You say that now, but you know you’ll be back.
My Knee: Y’know what. I’m doing ok.
Me: Thank you, Knee, for being a grown up about this.
My Shin: Um… please don’t do that again. I hurt.
Athena: OK Spartan, I admit running on a treadmill sucks ass. You deserve that frozen yogurt now. You need protein for recovery anyway.
Zeus: <darkens the sky, throws lightning bolts all over, dumps buckets of rain> Will your yogurt still be tasty when the cone is soaking wet? Mwa-ha-ha!