Flip Flop Fever is not me getting excited for warmer weather and shopping for new flip flops to live in until snow fall again. It is about actual fevers and how bloody annoying they are when day care centers are involved.
Day care centers send kids home when they have a fever. Fair enough. Don’t need these kids sharing any more germs than they already have, right? Right. But then the kid can’t come back for another 24 hours, so if Junior has a 100.1°F temperature on Tuesday, Mommy and Daddy are screwed for Wednesday. It is a pain but it is dealt with. Jay and I are playing this little game right now with X. Here’s the story.
Sunday – X felt warm. He had zero other symptoms and was happily playing with his Easter basket toys and eating jelly beans all day. I thought nothing of it.
Monday- X felt fine and went off to day care. A few hours later I get The Call. He has a temperature of 103.5 that peaked at 104. He must be picked up and is banished until 24 hours after his fever returns to normal. Jay picks him up, verifies with the pediatrician that yes, he has another ear infection. Augmentin. Motrin. No more fever by bedtime. I’m
stuck at home lucky enough to spend the whole day cuddling with my little bundle of joy on Tuesday, anyway.
Monday night – X wakes up every 2 hours. To sing. Old MacDonald, Baa-baa Black Sheep, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABCs… you name it, he sang it.
Tuesday – I’m exhausted, but X awakes fever free and raring for a fun day of play. His temperature stays below 99°F all day long.
This morning – The thermometer reads 99.4°F. This is sketchy. Anything could happen. I give him a dose of Advil and hope. I can’t take another day off from work for him to be fine. Yes, Jay and I were those parents sending their sick kid in. Hey, he got that bug from your germy kid. We are just giving it back.
Later this morning – Before I even make it to work X is being sent home with his daddy. He spiked back up. Still no other symptoms. He’s not even tugging at his ear. I think the pediatrician is wrong I am diagnosing him with Flip Flop Fever. This sickness is characterized by a perfectly timed fever that comes and goes to maximize sick days taken. It is caused by a virus that was genetically engineered by terrorists. Their plan was to give this to the children of of CIA operatives and Secret Service Agents in order to keep all of these people home from their jobs, leaving the country vulnerable. The virus is entirely harmless in order to avoid the increased attention garnered by more severe bugs like H1N1 or meningitis. The virus escaped and infected civilian children instead.*
Tomorrow – Anybody want to babysit a completely healthy but possibly warm 2 year old that has been black-listed from day care?*Purely the theories of a sleep deprived mommy. No real science whatsoever. Please don’t take away my degree.