Toddler-ese

2 months ago, my son was able to say Daddeeeeee,  doggie, ducky and tut tut.

  • Tut tut = turtle. He loves turtles- especially the mini-Pillow Pet turtle that his Aunt Natalie bought for him for Christmas. All turtles are called tut tuts. Even the real ones at the zoo.
  • Daddeeeeee = his version of aloha. It means just about anything in his vernacular. Of course it could mean daddy, but it could also mean goldfish, “I pooped,” mommy, tampons, crayon….. It was truly universal.

Then his doctor put tubes in his ears to drain out the fluid build-up that was screwing with his hearing. Now he doesn’t shut the hell up. Most of it doesn’t make a lick of sense. He could be singing the alphabet or he could be reciting mathematical theorems. It’s really hard to tell. But he has finally got an arsenal of somewhat understandable English words.  He’s got quite a complicated vocabulary with different words for the same object in different contexts.

  • Daddeeeee = still a pretty universal word for him, but now it’s mostly used for daddy and sometimes mommy
  • Doggie = Dog. This can be a dog on TV, a toy dog, or our actual dogs, as long as they are leaving him alone
  • Pop-pop = Grandpa. This was the first person he named other than his father. Grandma is pissed off about this. (There are rumors that he finally said Grandma this week. I haven’t heard it yet so it doesn’t count)
  • Vroom = Motorcycle, car, or Grandpa on his motorcycle
  • Ba Dah = Bad dog. He uses this one primarily on Nilla when she’s running around the house or for Brutus when he licks his face
  • Baba = bottle. Yes, he still takes a bottle at naptime and bedtime. So shoot me.
  • Mommeee = Mommy, but sometimes daddy
  • Mumumum = Also Mommy, but usually reserved for when he wants something from me (picture him reaching up toward me, but only if I have a box of Froot Loops in my hand)
  • Ba = ball. Football, soccer ball, baseball… doesn’t really matter. He hits them all with golf clubs and baseball bats
  • Dittee = Dirty. This word usually comes with a handful of dog hair or a miniscule piece of fluff that he must give you as if the fate of the world rests on that clump of detritus
  • Bih Duck = Big Truck. Usually applies to the garbage truck, but can also be the UPS guy. Not the FedEx truck, oddly enough
  • Nanee = Natalie, his turtle-bearing Aunt.
  • Dop = Stop. His new favorite. I think the babysitter taught him this in lieu of No. So if you try to put his shoes on or feed him something he doesn’t want he yells “DOP!!!” at the top of his lungs.
  • Uh-Oh = every child’s favorite. I think this translates to “I done fucked up but look how cute I am!”
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