The Time of the Butterflies

So with less than a week to go until I again face the Pennsylvania Spartan Sprint, the butterflies in my stomach have returned with a vengeance. I’ve got all of Mothra’s children in there and they are all wearing red capes and bronze helmets.

I’ve got all the symptoms of Pre-Race Insomnia Disorder. Every dream I’ve had this week has involved obstacle racing in some way, shape, or form. The most vivid one being about some terrible clock-blocking bitches screwing me over on the course. The obstacle was to carry giant jugs of water up and down a slope. There was a group of women who thought they wanted to show up all the guys by carrying TWO giant jugs of water. I am all for getting some serious Chicking done, but not if that leaves no water jugs for me to carry! I had to wait until they finished and I was PISSED. It is a damn good thing for the dream-bitches that the alarm clock went off because for some reason I had my kukri machete in my Camelbak (no I don’t know how it fit in there) and was about to do un-nice things.

Psychologists would probably say that if I’d prepare myself for the race better, the P.R.I.D. would subside.

They’d be wrong.

I am prepared. Very prepared. I did this race, at this location, last year. I know what I am up against and I am ready. I’ve got Clif bars and all-natural energy gel packs. I’ve got my Camelbak ready and raring to go. I know the terrain and I’ve got a general plan of action. It’s not a real plan of course, since Sparta likes to change things about so that you can never really be prepared. For instance, I’ve already gotten some intel that this race will probably be longer than 5 miles and will is designed to be a mini-Beast. The elite runners will probably take an hour as opposed to the 40minutes that they previously claimed. It is going to have at least 2 water stations. I see this as a bad sign because they don’t like to give you aid stations. It must be pretty killer if they are giving us the luxury of water.


All this is causing some of the other disorders to flare up, too. My Chronic Running Shoe Accretion Disorder is getting bad again. I thought I had the habit kicked when I bought my last pair of Kanadias, but now I’ve got some X-Talons in a shopping cart. “Hello my name is Nicole and I’m a shoe-aholic.”

I am wondering whether or not sock addiction is included in my current diagnosis or if it has its own entry in the DSM-IV. I haven’t even ran in my new, fun knee-socks yet but I am already looking to buy more. I also just spent nearly $40 on 2 pairs of performance wool socks. That has got to be mental defect. I never used to spend more than $6.99 on a whole BAG of socks.

Hopefully the pre-race jitters and resulting mental deficiencies will ease up after this race, but then again, I’ve got another race the week after that, then 2 in August. Oh and 2 more in September… and October.

I may be spending the holidays in a straight-jacket this year.


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