Lord of the Bling Virtual 10K

As you may or probably not have noticed, I haven’t run a single real race for the ENTIRE month of July.

January 1
February 2
March 1
April 2
May 3
June 3
July 0

Weird, right?

I did do 2 virtual races, though. On July 4, I ran my own Yorkie Doodle Dandy virtual with my little doxie, Brutus. And yesterday, I ran the Lord of the Bling Virtual 10k. (Did you know that spell check doesn’t recognize “bling” as a word, yet? Get on that, tech industries.)

The Lord of the Bling Virtual 10K is part II of Nerd Herd Running’s 2nd Annual Virtual Race Series. The first part, Revenge of the Fifth, was a Star Wars themed 5K scheduled for the week of May 5th, right after “May the Fourth Be With You” Star Wars Day. I ran this on the 6th because I guess I’m a rebel. Part III will be my favorite one of the series. It is Hunger Games themed, and I am slightly ashamed to admit that I am a total Hunger Games fangirl. (And, in true nerd fashion, I’m a fangirl for the books and not so much the movies. They really need to kick it up a notch for Mocking Jay I & II or I’m gonna be really ticked.)

I received my Lord of the Bling race bib via email at the beginning of July.

LOTB  bibI’m kinda wishy-washy about wearing race bibs for virtual runs, which I guess is why I haven’t  bothered to make any for the ones that I am hosting. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I really can’t be bothered to print it out and find my baggie o’ safety pins in the bowels of my race bag. I didn’t wear this bib for my 10K, which, as it will turn out, was probably a good thing.

Like a good little Hobbit, I made sure to eat a meal before heading out. (In case you haven’t noticed, this run is Lord of the Rings themed) First Breakfast consisted of a Chocolate Honey Stinger Waffle. Having no Elven bread to pack for my journey, I settled for a package of Supercandy Gummies, which are pretty similar to the Elvish staple in that I’ve noticed that they last for-ev-er. I had a trial package from last September that was still good, even after being packed into a Camelbak and coated in mud and dropped off of cliffs… You get the picture.

I set out feeling great. It wasn’t too hot or humid in my little part of the Shire just yet. I was using a new run/walk interval for this run. Previously, I ran using a 3 minute run/1 minute walk interval. I switched it up to 1:30/:30 for this run to see what would happen. My pace definitely improved with this tactic and I felt like I was running with all the speed and grace of Legolas running up the oliphaunts . I probably looked more like Gimli.

Everything was going just beautifully until I reached Tower (coincidence?) Avenue in my village . The skies grew dark as if I was approaching Mordor. Then it started to drizzle. No biggie. I can deal with that. Then it started to pour buckets. Then drizzle again, then pour, then stop, then drizzle, then pour…… for most of the rest of my run. Goodie. I told myself I’d keep going until lightning started to strike or my iPhone fizzled out from being wet. Neither happened.

I ran out for approximately 4 miles, winding through the streets, and then started to head straight back. When I got back onto Tower Ave, I got to experience my own “You Shall Not Pass” moment.

gandalfI’m running along, minding my own and  business and a brown and white pit bull calmly walks out from behind a house and just stood in the middle of the sidewalk I was on. She just stared at me. I’m not afraid of pits in the least, but I am also not stupid, so I slowed down and approached cautiously. I didn’t want to just bolt to the other side of the street because I a) didn’t want her to think I had a reason to run and try to catch me and attack, and b) didn’t want her to bolt after me and get hit by a car or something. She stood her ground and I tried to read her posture. Then she pounced.

Not her, but she looked like this.

And like every pit bull I’ve met so far, she attacked me with kisses- licking my face and trying to jump into my arms. Her owner apologized for her behavior and I helped him corral her back into the house. Gandalf the Gray she was not.

I finished in 1:04:16, 3 minutes and 32 seconds faster than my last 10K run! There’s something to this Galloway method and walking more often during a run.

I made it back home before 8 am and Second Breakfast- a peanut butter sandwich- before getting on with the dealings of the day.

(For the record, Elevensies was a Crunchwrap Supreme at taco bell, Luncheon was zucchini brownie batter, Afternoon Tea was a Seagram’s Escape, Dinner was a chicken wrap, and Supper was my kid’s leftover french fries and part of a chocolate bar. Healthy eating went completely out the window.)

FoodDay Friday – Quinoa Yummies

I’ve fallen so far behind in FoodDay Friday posts. Why is it that all hell breaks loose on Fridays and can never get these done? Friday afternoons are for slacking off and writing blog posts while I should be getting things ready at work for Monday morning, not running around the lab trying to figure out why nothing works or my robots are rebelling.

While my robot minions are behaving for the time-being, I will try to get a couple of our dinnertime Pin-Tests documented.

Both of these pins involve quinoa. For those who’ve been living under a rock with no exposure to insane health-crazed media, quinoa is one of the current superfoods. It is a seed that can be treated kind of like rice in cooking, but being a seed, it is chock full of protein and other nutrients that you don’t get from most other grains. Quinoa has been a success in our house because X will (usually) scarf it down like nobody’s business- as long as you don’t call it quinoa. Tell him we are having quinoa for dinner and you will get his patented “I don’t like ____” whine. Present him a bowl full of quinoa and tell him to eat up his “rice” and you get his super adorable “____ is yummy in my tummy!” typically reserved for chocolate frosting and chicken nuggets shaped like Monsters Inc characters.

Sadly, neither of these two recipes cut the mustard with him. Too many vegetables. Screw him, though. Two grown-ups live the in the house, too, and can’t be confined to hidden, pureed veggies.

The first pin came from Cooking with Cakes. This blogger’s nickname is Cakes but the blog has nothing to do with cakes, but has everything to do with tasty looking stuff. Her recipe for Cheesy Greek-Style Baked Quinoa caught my attention because of the healthiness, superfood content, and nutrient rich quinoa cheese. Who am I kidding? I love cheese. According to my mother, my first sentence was “Cheese, please.”

Cheesy Greek-Style Baked Quinoa — Pinned to my Healthy Noms Pinterest board

Anyway, the recipe is pretty much perfect. I think we added extra garlic, replaced the onion powder with actual onion and the skim milk with almond milk because that’s what we had. It was so effing delicious but X wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole. Oh well, Monsters Inc chicken nuggets were yummy in his tummy that night. This meal is also one of those that tastes even better the next day for lunch, so make extra.

The next pin was last night’s dinner and came from Iowa Girl Eats.

Also pinned to my Healthy Noms board

I have tried quite a few recipes from Iowa Girl Eats, including her baked donuts that I used to make Absinthe donuts when I was feeling nostalgic for New Orleans. I had been wanting to make this one for a while and had bought the ingredients a few times over but always ended up turning it into something else for some reason or another. This time we really did it, though. I did most of the prep work and Jay cut the chicken (cuz it’s slimy and gross and don’t like having chicken bits under my fingernails) and did the stir-frying.

I substituted the rice vinegar with white wine vinegar because while I was in the supermarket I could have sworn we had rice vinegar so I didn’t buy any. (I did the same thing with flour, too, and now all I have is bread flour and whole wheat flour and I’m supposed to make chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes for my sister’s graduation party tomorrow. Fuck.) I also couldn’t find the chili garlic sauce so I made do with a concoction of 2 parts ShopRite’s Asian Garlic Sesame Sauce, 1 part Sriracha.

While Jay cooked it up, he seemed kind of skeptical that this would be good, but once it was done and he tasted it, I think he needed a new pair of shorts he was so happy. He must have complimented this recipe at least 12 times before finishing his giant bowlful. I think my only complaint was that it might have been too salty, but I doubled-ish the recipe and eyeballed a lot of measurements so the proportion of sauce to everything else might not have been right. Lessen learned- when soy sauce (even low sodium) is involved, do not screw around.


Go forth and eat quinoa!


Whine First. Run Later.


I’m bummed. I popped on to the Vintage Runs website last week to double check some race dates and was greeted with this:

New Picture (2)


My first thought was Did no one sign up? That just could  not be the problem. If enough people signed up for the super hilly, no-so-great-wine Benmarl event, then at least 12.7 million people (rough estimate) should be wanting to run on relatively flat streets and enjoy some of the best wine in NY at the oldest winery in America. Brotherhood Winery is just that good. Like President Clinton kept their Riesling stocked at the White House good.

My next thought was Oh crap! Did something happen to Todd or Myriam?! They are the super-nice, wickedly awesome people who are behind Vintage Runs. Todd introduced himself to us at our first Vintage Run at Aroma Thyme. Though I forgot his name at the time, he didn’t forget Jay and I. He greeted us by name when we arrived for the Benmarl Bud Break. Then, when I registered for the Brotherhood event about 17 seconds after the announcement was posted to Facebook, he sent me a personal email to let us know that we were the first people to register. What other race directors pay that much attention to their participants? Um.. None that I’ve met just yet.

I scoured the Vintage Runs site and social media to try to find out what was going on. The run scheduled for October at Bethel Woods was still going on, so it’s not like they went out of business like certain other race companies <coughHeroRushcoughcoughRunForYourLivescough>.

Finding no answers, I went straight to Todd. I sent him an email to find out what the deal was. Apparently, much like when I registered for the run, I was just too quick to jump. He was going to be sending an email later that day to inform everyone that the event was, in fact, cancelled. The village that the race would have been held in decided not to award the permit. Boo. We were given the option of a refund or credit for another run. Being wine drinkers with a running problem, we opted for the credit. It’s inevitable that we’ll do another one of these races.

After getting over the initial sadness of missing out on the opportunity to run and then drink Brotherhood wines, I came up with an idea.

A wonderful, awful idea!

Jay and I don’t need a permit to take the kiddo for a little run around the village next door. We don’t need a permit to stop at the Winery for a little taste. (Before heading over to the next next town over to Applewood Winery for our Wino Club pick-up, of course.)

Many thanks to whoever made this eBib.

Sounds like Jay and I still have something to do that day. And if some other people join us, well then, that just sounds like good time.


Have you had a race canceled on you? Did you run that day anyway?

Want a medal for your non-official race? Check out the Virtual Runs tab at the top of this page.


Yorkie Doodle Dandy Virtual Run Recap

Have you taken a minute to check out the Virtual Runs tab at the top of this page?

Do you have no bloody clue as to what a virtual run is and therefore have avoided that tab for fear that it was something weird that you wanted nothing to do with? It’s nothing weird, I promise.

Go click and read the bottom of the page. It explains all.

Read it? OK.

Some may ask WHY they should do a virtual run. Why not just go do a real race? Or just be a big girl and run with no expectation of a reward for it? Here’s my answers to the WHY:

Some people don’t feel comfortable running with, near, in front of, other people. Maybe they are new runners who don’t think they are fast enough to run with Runners. Maybe they think they aren’t thin/pretty/athletic enough to run with Runners. Or maybe they live in the middle of nowhere and can’t easily get to a race. Tons of reasons could keep people from running in a real race.

Not all of us are naturally inspired to run. There are those Runners that just wake up at 4:30 in the morning and feel bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to run. As far as I am concerned, these are pod-people and need to have their DNA tested to make sure they are, in fact, modern Homo sapiens sapiens.  For the rest of us, a little extra encouragement is need, and that can come in the shape of a pan full of brownies (not recommended if running for weight loss) or a shiny new medal (much healthier option- unless you eat the medal. That would cause problems. Don’t do that.)

A pretend bite is ok.

Another inspiring aspect of a virtual run is knowing that your run is doing something good for the world. Most virtual runs are FUNDRAISERS first and foremost. People are trying to raise money for a charity or cause that means the world to them or someone they love. Yeah, lots of your 5Ks, halfs, OCRs, etc have some charity hooked up with them, but the amount of your registration fee that goes to that cause is kinda wimpy. I remember reading on the website of one of the runs that I’ve done that less than 4% of my registration fee would actually go to the charity they claimed they were fundraising for. Seriously? The first virtual I hosted was Stubby’s Sprint. Do you know how much of those registration fees went to America’s VetDogs ? 65%.

So between race bling and knowing I’m running for someone who can’t, I am a lot more likely to drag my ass off the couch and get out for a run. And as evident by the nearly 10,000 people in the Virtual Runs! Facebook group, lots of other people are encouraged this way, too.

For instance, I probably would never have bothered heading out for a run on the Fourth of July. What the heck was the point? I was just going to gorge myself on cheeseburgers and adult beverages later. BUT I had registered myself and my dachshund, Brutus, for the Yorkie Doodle Dandy virtual run- the sequel run to Stubby’s Sprint. I said we’d do it on Independence Day and we were going to do it on Independence Day.

I ran a chunk of the run on the treadmill at the gym while waiting for Jay to finish his laps in the pool. When we got home, I was going to grab my little stubby-legged running buddy and finish the 5K. Then this came through my neck of the woods:

(From HudsonValleyWeather.com’s Facebook Page)

I’d gladly run in a storm (barring lightning and tornadoes,) but I wasn’t too keen on bringing my long-haired, crud-collecting-on-a-good-day dachshund out in wind and rain. So we waited. Poor little pup was already getting excited to go run with me. And waited. And waited. And then the skies seemed to clear a little bit and I jumped up, grabbed my shoes and the running leash and we hauled tukkis out of the house and into the puddles.

Brutus ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, which maxed out at about 10:30min/mile and averaged 15:30min/mile. Our pace included his potty break that required us to run back to the house because I forgot to bring the little roll of poo baggies.

It drizzled on us and we ran through lots of puddles, but we had fun, got in some exercise, got nice medals around our necks, and put a little bit of money in America’s VetDogs’ coffers.


Then I drank a Mang-o-Rita and Brutus at some chicken jerky from Pirate Paws Barkery, because that’s how we celebrate the 4th!


Don’t forget to go back to the Virtual Runs tab and register for one (or both) of my fundraisers.

You can also check out some virtuals being hosted by friends of Dirt & Frosting:

I Tri For Charcot-Marie-Tooth

Maybrook FD Run Between Runs

Savage Race 2014

Jay and I have both really wanted to run the Savage Race ever since we first heard about it. The timing just never worked out for us, though. There was always a different race that we had already registered for or some other unbreakable plans that shared the date. This particular event was no exception to the poor timing. My baby sister was graduating high school on that day. There was no way I’d be able run to run an OCR and still make it to the ceremony. And there was no way I’d be able to handle the wrath that would come from a teenage girl upon missing one of the biggest days in her life so far. So even though I had the strong desire and the coupon codes to back it up, I didn’t register.

Then Jay registered us. He counted it as a belated Mother’s Day present. He registered under non-Early Bird conditions and with no discount code – the cheap-ass bitch frugalista in me cringed for 2 whole weeks over this.

We were registered for the 9:40 wave. Theoretically, we could be done in time and haul ass back to NY in time for the 6pm graduation ceremony. No big deal.

Then something happened that made me almost say “Fuck you Savage Race! I’m outta here”- they gave us a 12:20 wave time. Little did I know that it said in the registration form that the wave times were not guaranteed. That’s not really cool, but they did say it so I couldn’t really get angry over that. I contacted Savage Race about my not being able to do such a late wave because of the graduation. They responded very quickly with an answer that pretty much just said “jump into an early wave” without actually saying to just jump into an earlier wave. Phew. The day had been saved.

The June 28 race day came. The kid got dropped off at the sitter’s house by 6:50AM and we were in TheMiddleOfNowhere, PA (Also known as Skirmish USA) before 9AM. Parking cost $10 but it was right at the event location. No shuttles,. No 2 mile walk to get to registration. Just stumble out of the car and onto the packet pick-up line. We didn’t use bag check because the car was actually just as close as the bag check tent. Cool.

By 9:18 we had met up with teammate Phil (who ran Tough Mudder and the VT Beast with us,) slapped on our bibs, hit the portopotties, and scarfed down some Honey Stinger Waffles. At 9:20, the second wave of the race was taking off. At 9:20:03, the 3 of us looked at each other and then shot into the corral and out of the gate with the last of that wave (with the blessing of the security dude that was standing there.)

We ran for less than 100 yards before hitting the first obstacle. This was going to become a very nice pattern- 5 miles and 24 obstacles made for the best distance-to-obstacle ratio I’ve ever experienced.

This bottleneck was pretty bad, but it cleared up quick.

This bottleneck was pretty bad, but it cleared up quick.

The first obstacle was Shriveled Richard. It was really just a shorter version of Tough Mudder’s Arctic Enema- a refreshing dip in a Dumpster full of ice water. It may be a rip-off obstacle, but Savage gets points for the name.

Next up was the Big Ass Cargo Net (seriously- check the website. this is really how they  name things,) Slippery Incline Wall and a Low Crawl under a cargo net. Then came a run through some woodsy terrain that they called Trail Mix. Me So Thorny was the next obstacle, consisting of barbed wire above and to the sides.

My butt is the one with green calf sleeves.

This was followed by Swamp Ass (running through mucky woodsy terrain) and the 96″ Stiffie (Savage-speak for 8′ wall). Then Lumberjack Lane turned out to be a log carry, but with lumber.

Blurry because I decided I need to start running to get away from the frat boys that were around me trying to impress some girlie girls that signed up only to hang out with the cool frat boys.

Then I got to become a pretty pretty Princess in a castle!!

My crown must have gotten lost in the woods somewhere so I made one with my hands.

In the castle there was Kiss My Walls (traverse wall) which I fell off of. Twice. I would have kept trying but time was of the essence for this race. After leaving the castle there was Barn Doors (slatted walls) followed by a run through more woods to Colon Blow 5000. I shit you not. That is what they call their muddy tube crawl. After that, was more mud in Thor’s Grundle- mucky trench with barriers you had to go under.

More mud came with their true barbed wire crawl, Mud N Guts. It was much higher than Spartan Race’s ≤8″ high wires, but lower than what you’d typically see at a non-Spartan OCR.

Davy Jones’ Locker was a cliff jump a la TM’s Walk the Plank. I was all ready to just run right off that mofo and just get over myself, but, no. My overzealous sense of self-preservation put the brakes on that and left me whining like a bitch at the top and not wanting to jump. I did it, eventually, but still felt dumb.

The Nutt Smasher (balance beam) followed. Then Sawtooth, which was a monkey bar obstacle with an extra bump in it.

Here’s the hubs tackling it. Yes, he’s wearing a kilt. Yes, he ironed it the night before the race.

Mud Walls were a new concept that I though was pretty cool. Walls set inside a mud trench. The watery mud came up above my knees, so it definitely made it harder to jump up and over the wall. Not super difficult, but different.

Back Scratcher was a set of over/under walls. Prairie Dog was some mud berms and tunnels- easy peasy. Tazed was akin to TM’s Electric Eel- a crawl through the mud with electroshock wires dangling over you. According to Tough Mudder, as a Legionnaire I have the right to bypass electroshock. I exercised that right and skipped the shocks. After that, was Blazed (AKA Fire Jump) which injured Katie did and looked awesome doing it, too.

The final obstacle was Colossus. A half pipe (like TM’s Everest) with a giant water slide down the back. I skipped this one, too. Honestly, there was no good reason. I just knew that I got really scraped up and bruised doing it at TM and didn’t really want that to happen again. Maybe if I wasn’t heading to the graduation later, I would have gone for it.

The three of us triumphantly strolled across the finish line to receive our medals 1 hour and 52 minutes after darting through the start line. The medals were a slight disappointment, being pretty small by OCR standards.  What I liked, was that you could go to the merchandise tent and get a FREE decal! Kind of a little bit makes up for the tiny medal because now my car has bling, too.

We didn’t get to hang out at the festival area much because of the graduation I had to head to, but it seemed like it was good. There was a DJ there playing a good variety. The food smelled delicious as there was an Italian sausage and peppers cart that I heard also had Philly cheese steaks. Nom nom. The negatives: 1) you had to buy tickets and use the tickets to buy the food and 2) the beer was Miller Lite.

All in all, though, it was a super-fun, well-organized, muddy good time. Sure, a lot of the obstacles were rip-offs of other events, but I almost felt like this race took the good stuff from all the bigger races and put them together in a perfect storm of OCR awesomeness.  I will absolutely be doing this one again. :)


Oh, and I did make it back in plenty of time to see my little baby sis walk across our high school’s football field and get her diploma. I may or may not have cried.

Lap4Life – A Kid’s Race Recap

So, yeah, I ran a race this past weekend but have had zero time to write a recap. The race was Lap4Life and was pretty much awesome. I had registered for it last year, but ended up having to sit back and spectate instead of running because of my stupid tibia. I had run the coarse – 4 miles around Chadwick Lake-  a few months later with the hubs as part of an 8 mile training run. My only goal for this race day was to finish it in less time than it took me to do the first lap of that training run- 46 minutes. And hot damn I did! 43:13! Yahoo!!

But rather than bore you to tears with the story of me running around in a circle and having my earbuds fall out every 0.02 miles, I’m going to try something different. You see, X ran this race, too. Well, not the 4 miler, but the kids’ 1/4 mile run. I’m going to write a recap that HE would probably write if knew more than 1 letter (X, of course) and had a slightly wider vocabulary than he currently does (mostly because if I wrote in true X-Speak it would take you 3 hours to read the post and you’d probably lose interest and start scrolling through Pinterest.)


Yesterday (because to X, everything is either yesterday or tomorrow) I went to the park with Daddy. He said it was for packet pickup, but I say it was to PLAY!!!! Daddy got big bags filled with lots of stuff. Mommy said the bags were filled with:

  • race bibs and safety pins (though not enough)
  • t-shirts
  • BelVita breakfast cookies
  • Sunscreen sample bottle
  • Lotion sample bottle
  • lots of coupons
  • water bottle
  • pen
  • sticky-notes

Then I got to go the park AGAIN with Mommy and Daddy and Mema (my mom) and my best friend E (as in Christina‘s E. She was there, too with the rest of her family, but X only ever mentions E.) I was soooo hungry even though I ate 2 big waffles for breakfast. I ate my applesauce pouch AND my cheese crackers before Mommy and Daddy even started running too fast.

Mommy and Daddy went to run too fast and I played with Mema on the playground and ran to the fire trucks (local FD was there) and the hammers and screwdrivers (Home Depot’s Kids’ Workshop was there with a project).

Daddy ran faster than Mommy. I sawed him first. He was really sweaty and yucky-doodles. Then Mommy finished and she was yucky-doodles, too. Then I built a toolbox with the hammer and screwdriver. Mommy and Daddy helped a lot.

Then I saw my doctor! She didn’t give me a shot or look in my ears or anything. She went running too fast, too! It was so cool that I got all shy and didn’t want to talk to her.

Then Mommy and Daddy said it was time for me to run too fast with E. We ran too fast to the kids’ start but then we had to wait a LOOOONNNNG time. Mommy said it was over an hour of waiting. I was soooo hungry. Even though I ate waffles and applesauce and crackers. I eated the breakfast cookies, too. No sharing!

IMG_0855[1]I played with sticks with E. We pretended they were guns and shot each other again and again and again until we both got in trouble. Then I was bored so I remembered some letters and showed Mommy on the sign.


Then FINALLY it was time to run too fast. I lined up with the other kids (and Daddy) to go run.IMG_0858[1]

The man said “1…. 2…. 3…. GO!” and I ranned so fast that Mommy and Mema couldn’t get ANY pictures of me. That’s REALLY FAST!! The lady at the end of the race gave me a medal!


I didn’t know what to do with it. I never had a medal before. So I swung it around all over the place. Then daddy hugged me and said he was sooo proud of me.


After the race, Mommy hung my medal and bib up with my other bib and my ribbon and Mommy and Daddy’s medals.  It looks so cool!



Sunday Morning Run


Slightly before falling asleep:

Tomorrow when I wake up, I am going to just jump right out of bed and head out for a run. I’ve got running clothes sitting on the dining room table that I didn’t put away after washing them 3 days ago, so I won’t even have to wake up Jay or the kid fumbling around in the dark for compression shorts. I’ll be back before the kid wakes up and will still have time to make French toast and sausage for Father’s Day. I am so awesome.



I hate 4AM Bird. If only I knew where that fucking bird lived when he wasn’t chirping at our window at O’dark thirty, I would lay a damned mouse trap right in his nest. I really wouldn’t because that would be mean, but OH DEAR GOD SHUT YOUR FACE-HOLE


Well, I am awake now. Guess I should get my ass out of bed and get to running.


Um… Am I out of bed, yet. Nope. That’s a pillow your head is on. You are still in bed. Get UP!!


OK. OK. I’m up. But even though I know exactly where my clothes are, my Armpocket is AWOL and my handheld hydration dealie must have run off with it. Maybe I should go back to bed.


After chowing down on a chocolate Honey Stinger Waffle, I finally started my run.


Who the hell keeps putting hills in front of me and why do they NEVER coincide with my walk intervals.


2.73 Miles done. I can turn around now, take the shorter way back, and still make 5 miles! Sweet.


OK, I’ve made it over 4 miles. Take shorter way or the slightly longer way home? hmmmm. I’ll take the longer way.


Why is my mom’s friend walking toward me and yelling and waving her arms? She must be encouraging me to keep  going! Yay! I’m gonna keep going and get to 6 miles!


I take my earbuds out because my mom’s friend (I’ll call her P) is still yelling and waving more emphatically. She had been out for a morning walk and had been on her way home BUT she had just turned back around away from her house because there was a BEAR running back and forth across the main road- the main road for both of us to use to get home.

Eastern Black Bear

Not my particular bear. This one is a pic from the Catskill Mountaineer.

I turn around and walk with her back to where the shorter route to my house was. Safety in numbers and all that jazz.


“HOLY CRAP THERE GOES THE BEAR, AGAIN!!!!” We see that bear darting across the street 2 houses in front of us, away from the direction of P’s house but towards mine! FUUUUUCK.

A (very) rough sketch of the neighborhood. Behold my MS Paint skills!

A (very) rough sketch of the neighborhood. Behold my MS Paint skills!

We turn back around and started going the longer way again that would bring us directly to P’s. We encounter a cop in search of the bear that everyone is flipping shit over and we point him in Yogi’s direction hurried away.


We get to P’s house where she offers to drive me the few more blocks to my house, claiming that my mother would kill her if I got mauled. I decline because:

a) I’m super bad-ass,

b) I’m an idiot, or

c) I was at 4.8 miles and I would kick myself if I didn’t make it to 5 just because of a silly old bear?

(It’s multiple choice, but there may be more than one answer.)

I’m thinking that the bear must be running towards the woods and not staying in the neighborhood to meet me for a snack.


I very cautiously walk up the last incline of the run. The music has been killed and I only keep one earbud in so I can hear my running app, but also an approaching bear.

My dogs are outside in the dog run!! Shit!!

Called Jay to tell him to bring the boys inside because a friggin’ bear is out and about. No answer. Shit. Enter all absurd thoughts of my dachshund taking on a bear in defense of his big brother, the mastiff.


As soon as the road flattens out I RUN as fast as I can after having already put in 5 miles at a pretty decent pace for me.  I hacked 30 seconds off my pace for the last 0.2 mile in an attempt to get home to the mutts faster.


Home. Brought dogs safely inside, while hoping that the mastiff, but more likely- the doxie, would defend me should the bear show up in the yard.

Phew. Safe.


Make soggy French toast. Forget to make sausage. I’m pretty sure it’s the bear’s fault.


Consult with a dude at the gym about re-opening my membership so I can run on a treadmill when animals with large claws and/or teeth have been spotted in the area.